LS Man

Mohamad At PLay Calendar Causes Atomic War!

Even though it is only the last day of October, it is never too late to be thinking about getting a new calendar for a wall somewhere in your house or office etc. You have so many choices such as kitten, fighter jets, Harry Potter, Elvis, light houses, and the list goes on. Calendar people have always tried to cater to the taste of everyone. Furthermore, with a computer and wee bit of knowhow, one can use standard programs to make a calendar out of any series of personal photos. This particular blog isn’t about any of those types of calendars, but ones that are surely offensive to someone, somewhere and for some reason. Case in point would be the Mormon calendar. Now, if the last five years of my professional life haven’t be a complete waste of my time and energy, those years did allow me to meet people, a tiny fraction of whom I enjoyed making acquaintances with. One of them was a very devout Mormon. Other than our differences regarding religion and the choice of undies, I liked the man very much. He won’t be reading this, however, I do apologize to him for excerpting material that may be construed as derogatory to his religious preferences. I digressed enough I think. Here is an excerpt from the Hot Mormon Muffins calendar:

 

Not to be sexist, the Mormon Men on A Mission calendar provides its own brand of beauty:

 

And finally, the gay and lesbian etc. community in Spain have their own “kinky” calendar to protest their treatment in that predominately Catholic country.

 

So you see there is something for everyone, once you are ready to purchase or make your calendar for 2010.

Love, It Is All You Need!

It isn’t Valentine’s Day, but that ought to never stop true love from being true and lovely. Case in point would have to be this little nuptial made in almost heaven. No not West Virginia, but Galguduud. Hundreds of people have attended a wedding in central Somalia between a man who says he is 112 years old, and his teenage wife. Ahmed Muhamed Dore - who already has 13 children by five wives - said he would like to have more with his new wife, Safia Abdulleh, who is 17 years old. "Today God helped me realise my dream," Mr Dore said, after the wedding in the region of Galguduud. The bride's family said she was "happy with her new husband". Mr Dore said he and his bride - who is young enough to be his great-great-grand-daughter - were from the same village in Somalia and that he had waited for her to grow up to propose. "I didn't force her, but used my experience to convince her of my love; and then we agreed to marry," the groom said.

 

You may be intrigued by this man. I know I am. Mr Dore told the BBC he was born in Dhusamareeb in central Somalia in 1897 - and has a traditional birth certificate, written on goat skin by his father. Our correspondent says he has an interesting history - in 1941 he joined the British colonial forces as a soldier for 10 years and then served as a police officer after Somalia won independence in 1960. Altogether, Mr Dore has 114 children and grandchildren. His oldest son is 80 years old and three of his wives have died. He says he hopes his new bride will give him more children. "It is a blessing to have someone you love to take care of you," he said. Some of you sticks in the mud may be thinking about the legality or the viability of something like this. Some people said while it was allowed under Islamic law, they were concerned about the age gap, but others were happy that age was not a barrier to love. It’s all good as they say, but then they aren’t in Safia’s place, are they?

The Right Guy!

I came across some Photoshopped images of superheroes being inserted in memorable and famous war pictures.

 

Since I retired the LS Man, I have been thinking about a heroic character to fit my alter-ego.

I have a few ideas:

Captain Balance. As a young boy, I was impressed by the Karate Kid movies, except the last one, only kidding, and now I go places and try to bring balance to the people.

Empathico. I just fly in and listen to people. I learned this as a young man working in summer camps with children with emotional problems.

The Engager. No flying, but I drive a very cool school bus orange Mustang (car not horse) and connect teachers to their students. I vowed to do this after my last experience at a prestigious prep school, where I was ridiculed and considered a joke. Fittingly, I was considered not the right guy, which brings me to my last character.

The Right Guy. Need I say more!

The Master Of Our Vocal Domain!

With the exception of the contest of self-denial, every subject on Seinfeld seemed so real. And now there is scientific proof. You may remember the episode in which there is a low-talker who manages to get Jerry to promise to wear a puffy pirate shirt on national television. In Honolulu, scientists have discovered a gene responsible for speaking. Researchers discovered the gene, dubbed tospeak, in an Australian family with a speaking disorder. Many of the women in the family have weak, husky voices, while several of their male relatives cannot speak above a whisper, reported Raymond Clarke of the University of New South Wales’ St. George Hospital in Kogarah, Australia, October 21 at the annual meeting of the American Society of Human Genetics.  Without getting too scientific, it seems that this particular gene has other responsibilities also.  Members of the family who have the speaking problem have short, thick vocal cords that don’t vibrate properly. Some of the family members also have fused bones in the wrists and feet, known as the carpals and tarsals, and fused vertebrae in their spines. All of the defects may be linked to a breakdown in relations between tospeak and a neighboring gene, known as GDF6, the researchers report. The GDF6 gene helps control bone and eye development. Loss of the gene leads to fusion of tarsals and carpals in mice. The researchers also found that mutations in GDF6 lead to fusion of neck vertebrae in people with a genetic disorder known as Klippel-Feil syndrome. All of those discoveries indicate that GDF6 helps keep joints flexible, Clarke says. The new study suggests that the gene may also be responsible for allowing humans to stretch their vocal cords and create a range of sounds necessary for speech. Clarke’s group found that the tospeak gene overlaps a control region of GDF6, which regulates GDF6’s activity in the carpals and tarsals. Disrupting the tospeak gene also appears to interfere with GDF6 activity. This information doesn’t negate the need to engage one’s brain. Other researchers say that changes in the brain were probably far more important for the evolution of language than alterations of the larynx. “It is reasonable to expect that anatomical and physical changes have expanded our vocal repertoire,” says Simon Fisher, a geneticist at the Wellcome Trust Centre for Human Genetics in Oxford, England, but “the idea that it’s the larynx that underlies speech is overly simplistic.” But brain changes that lead to language wouldn’t be possible without the capacity for speech, Clarke says. “You’ve got to have a brain [to speak], that’s true,” he says. “There must be a marriage between the brain and the structural capacity.” So Jerry and the gang, as usual, were way ahead of their time.

I Am Going To Hell Anyway!

For some of us godless savages, the notion that the theory of evolution ought to be balanced with creationism and the theory of intelligent design in the classroom is not a foreign idea. My personal belief is that both theories ought to be presented and children be provided with evidence to supports each one. Unfortunately, what confounds this issue is religion, which severely limits (actually eradicates) free thought. No one expects a particular religion to present tenets of other religions, much less the notion that we can be spiritual without needing to be told what to think and how to act. However, schools are constantly bombarded with the notion that they present only one theory about our origins. Furthermore, it is maintained, that the theory of evolution is not even true. This is where the proponents of creationism lose me. Until there is proof that we were created according to the bible, I will subscribe to the theory of evolution. In the meantime, if you disagree with me and haven’t, as yet, found a religion that will validate your beliefs, here is a flowchart to help you.

Shiloh Will Always Have Many Friends!

Wee Shiloh died the other day. PORTLAND, Maine - Shiloh Pepin, a girl who was born with fused legs, a rare condition often called "mermaid syndrome," and gained a wide following on the Internet and U.S. television, has died. She was 10. Doctors had predicted she would at most only survive for days after her birth. The girl died at Maine Medical Center on Friday afternoon, hospital spokesman John Lamb said. She had been hospitalized in critical condition for nearly a week. Being born with "mermaid syndrome," also known as sirenomelia, meant that the Kennebunkport girl had only one partially working kidney, no lower colon or genital organs and legs fused from the waist down. She contracted pneumonia.

 

She leaves behind quite a legacy for such a young lady. Shiloh was a fifth-grader at Kennebunkport Consolidated School. "She was such a shining personality in that building," said Maureen King, chairwoman of the board of the regional school district. Counselors will be available next week to talk to students. Through the television shows, news articles, Facebook and other Web sites, Shiloh inspired many. "I live in Iowa. I have cerebral palsy. I love your video," 12-year-old Lydia Dawley wrote to Shiloh on Facebook. "You have a great personality I wish you lived close so we could be friends and hang out. You opened my eyes because you are so brave."  I am not sure why her parents chose to call her Shiloh. When I was young I had a tape of Neil Diamond’s greatest hits.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=98mxTslGjbs

It Is Beginning To Look A Lot Like Weirdness!

There Is A "Quiet" Hero In Every Heroin User!

Heroin is considered sublime by some users. However, it is one of the most addictive, if not the most addictive, drug that is used and abused by its users. The name heroin comes from the German word heroisch, which means heroic. It was thought that heroin had a heroic effect on its users. It was manufactured by Bayer as a substitute for morphine, used in the 1890’s, for treating coughs.

Heroin was thought to be non-addictive; however, it had one of the highest rates of dependence. Perhaps it was even more addictive than morphine, despite Bayer’s claims to the contrary. From Benjamin Franklin to Boy George, there have been many celebrity heroin users. Among this list would be men like Goering, Bella Lugosi, E. A. Poe and Elvis. One of the most famous heroin users was William Burroughs who had no qualms about discussing his addiction to heroin. He maintained that it was easier to get through life on “junk” but he did admit that it stifled creativity. Imagine what else he would have been able to write if his creativity hadn’t been inhibited with that junk. Here are some facts:

Acute intoxication is characterized by euphoria and drowsiness. Mast cell effects (eg, flushing, itching) are common, particularly with morphine. GI [gastro-intestinal] effects include nausea, vomiting, decreased bowel sounds, and constipation."

Source: 

"Opioids," The Merck Manual, Section 15: Psychiatric Disorders, Chapter 198: Drug Use and Dependence, Merck & Co. Inc., from the web at http://www.merck.com/mmpe/sec15/ch198/ch198f.html last accessed Sept. 17, 2008.

"Chronic use of heroin leads to physical dependence, a state in which the body has adapted to the presence of the drug. If a dependent user reduces or stops use of the drug abruptly, they may experience severe symptoms of withdrawal. These symptoms, which can begin as early as a few hours after the last drug administration, include restlessness, muscle and bone pain, insomnia, diarrhea and vomiting, cold flashes with goose bumps ('cold turkey'), kicking movements ('kicking the habit'), and other symptoms. Users also experience severe craving for the drug during withdrawal, precipitating continued abuse and/or relapse. Major withdrawal symptoms peak between 48 and 72 hours after the last dose and typically subside after about a week; however, some individuals may show persistent withdrawal symptoms for months. Although heroin withdrawal is considered less dangerous than alcohol or barbiturate withdrawal, sudden withdrawal by heavily dependent users who are in poor health is occasionally fatal.
"Heroin abuse during pregnancy, together with related factors like poor nutrition and inadequate prenatal care, has been associated with adverse consequences including low birthweight, an important risk factor for later developmental delay. If the mother is regularly abusing the drug, the infant may be born physically dependent on heroin and could suffer from serious medical complications requiring hospitalization."

Source: 

National Institute on Drug Abuse, InfoFacts: Heroin (Rockville, MD: US Department of Health and Human Services), from the web at http://www.nida.nih.gov/infofacts/heroin.html last accessed Sept. 17, 2008.

It will be left to the potential user to decide if the effects of heroin use are worth the ability to decrease one’s bowel sounds. A little junk for your trunk?

Oreo Fun Barbie Spent Most Of The Day In Uncle Ken's Cabin!

From the files of “never let perfect get in the way of progress,” comes this story: Grace, Kara and Trichelle were created to fill a void for young black girls who for so long have been playing with dolls that don't look like them.  The new black Barbies released by Mattel have fuller lips, curlier hair and other features that the company says more accurately represent African-American women. Some have cheered the new dolls. Others jeered them, saying they're not black enough. "I love the black Barbie. It's about time," Jua Simpson said on CNN's iReport, a user-generated news community. "But the hair is still a step backwards, since most of our hair is not straight and light brown." Others disagree with critics who say the dolls should have had more natural black hairstyles, such as afros or braids. "Many people have criticized the dolls for either having hair that's too long or too straight, but I have long, straight hair that I straightened. But it's my hair and a part of me," said Tanisa Zoe Samuel, an African-American iReporter from the Turks and Caicos, in the Caribbean. "Black women come in all shades, shapes and varieties that there is just no way to capture everyone with three dolls." The dolls were created by Stacy McBride-Irby, an African-American who watched her daughter play with dolls and wanted to create a doll that looked more like her. McBride-Irby said she has heard the criticism, but she also has received many kudos. "They mean so much to me because they did come from a positive place," McBride-Irby said. "My daughter loves the dolls. I've had dads thank me for creating this line of dolls that represent their little girls. These dolls are for girls all over the world."  This effort comes on the heels of the ill-fated earlier attempt by Mattel and Nabisco to fill this void. Do you remember Oreo Fun Barbie?

 

Now that one was a wee bit thoughtless. In 1997, Mattel collaborated with cookie maker Nabisco to create Oreo Fun Barbie. The black version of the doll, which sported an Oreo-shaped purse, was criticized by some who noted that "Oreo" is a derogatory term in the black community. The word is used to describe someone who is perceived as black on the outside and white on the inside. At least all little girls have a doll to play with. I am not sure they care about how thick their doll's lips are. Maybe I am wrong.

Love Is A Many-Splendored Thing, It Bloody Has To Be!

Stay with me on this one. The woman on the left is married to the man on the right. She begins an internet relationship with the man below. In order to free up some time for this new relationship, she-- well-- let me let the BEEB take over from here: Joanne Hale, 39, gave her husband Peter a herb called horny goat weed before cutting his throat in woodland at Stoke Bishop, Bristol, on 27 December 2008. Bristol Crown Court heard she then left the scene to have a romantic liaison with a man she had met on the internet. Hale, of Stapleton, will be sentenced at a later date. The trial jury heard that after taking the aphrodisiac, Mr. Hale was led to the woodland by his wife believing they would have sex. Instead Joanne Hale inflicted a 12cm (4.7in) cut to his throat and then stabbed him, leaving a wound to his chest which caused lung collapse, cardiac arrest and heart damage. Christopher Armstrong, the surgeon who treated Mr. Hale, said that he had come "close to death". After the attack, she left Mr. Hale in the care of a passer-by and went to Bristol Parkway railway station to meet Philip Sudol, a married postman from Leeds, with whom she had been having an internet relationship. Joanne Hale declined to give evidence at her trial but she had told police that Mr. Hale had cut his own throat after an argument. She was convicted by a majority verdict. Thank god, the British can control themselves, although I have to tell you, the horny goat weed aphrodisiac is very intriguing.