Spend A Penny Quickly!

You may remember a previous blog about fighting corruption by sewing shut the pockets in trousers so that people couldn’t accept bribes. Not to be outdone, those crazy Lithuanians have decided to fight vandalism in much the same way: Anyone who happens to visit a public toilet in Klaipeda, Lithuania, should be careful not to spend longer than five minutes inside – after that time limit the doors will automatically be blocked. This is the city authorities’ idea for fighting vandalism. Automatic blocking systems will be installed on the toilets’ doors. The system will wait exactly five minutes after the client goes in, and if he or she does not leave after the time runs out, the doors will be blocked. One would assume that 5 minutes would be enough to complete #1, #2 or #3. However, if more time is needed, once the doors are pried open by the jaws of bathroom, one can leave with some semblance of dignity. The French have decided on a different course of action. The Paris Public Lavatory Security System (PPLSS) will fling the doors wide open after 15 minutes. I don’t know what is worse, being trapped in or ejected out. The Lithuanians call their procedure “konstapat”, while the French call theirs “dioreia.” In America, there is no time for vandalism as most toilets are full celebrities looking for love in all the wrong places or lawmakers assuming a “wide stance!”